Apparently only some of us deserve to be parents in Arkansas

This past Tuesday on election day the voters of the state of Arkansas passed an amendment to their state constitution that bars unmarried individuals from adopting children. I'm not sure why orphaned children should be punished this way, but it will be interesting to see how this law is enforced. It will be even more interesting to see how it stands up to legal scrutiny.
Supporters of the amendment were most concerned with the issue of gay parenting. To prevent it, they decided that the path of least resistance would be to bar the unmarried from adopting children in need of a family. While it might be easy to defend this amendment, it raises lots of questions...
Does Arkansas also intend to bar bisexuals from adopting children? What if a woman gets married to a man, has children, then discovers that she wants to be with a woman? Are she and her new partner considered to be unsuitable as adoptive parents just because the state doesn't allow gay marriage?
This law might appease some people for a while, but if these same people showed any curiosity in the human condition in general, and human sexuality specifically, then this amendment would seem completely ridiculous. And who suffers from this ridiculous act? Children, the very individuals the supporters of this amendment claim to be protecting.

Care 4 Breast Cancer 5K

Last Sunday, 10/26/2008, was the Care 4 Breast Cancer 5K run/walk in Lippold Park in Crystal Lake, IL. The group photo on the left shows two of my coworker (Brian on the left and Eddie on the right) and me (in the middle) cooling down after the race. Brian's wife Cassie took this picture of us. Eddie is an amazing runner. He races almost every weekend. I'm more of the casual runner, but this was my 10th race this season.
This particular race was a fundraiser for the Family Health Partnership Clinic. It's a great cause, and I'm very proud to say that I raised $570. Yes, I know, I have very generous and thoughtful friends. They are awesome! I'm also proud to learn that my own doctor, Dr. James Mowery, is an internal medicine provider at the clinic.
Everyone had a great time at this race. There were over 800 participants this year. The organizers raised over $78,000 this year. I can hardly wait to run this one again next year.

Why I would like to be the marrying kind

It's that time of year again. My company has an open enrollment period for health insurance and other financial benefits. I am once again reminded that my domestic partner is not my spouse, and that my state does not allow for domestic partner registry or for same-sex partners to marry. My company does, however, offer the same benefits to my partner as they would if he were my spouse. However, my marital status is a difference with a definite distinction.

I must admit, I'm still baffled by the opposition to gay marriage. It seems like it's OK for a celebrity or anyone one else to get married in Las Vegas on a Saturday and get an annulment the next weekend. I don't see protesters on TV sniping about the divorce rate every day. Ask yourself how many people you know who have been married more than once. Or twice. Unfortunately, the institution of marriage doesn't seem very sacred in America at all. My parents took their wedding vows very seriously. I think all of my married friends do as well. I would to, if it were allowed, but I don't have that option.

Part of the problem I have is that I don't understand the opposition very well. America is almost ready to elect Barack Obama, an African-American, as President. If our nation is ready for that, I simply do not understand why we're not ready to let queers get married. I'm dumbfounded. Someone even let Britney Spears get married. WTH!?

On a more serious note: the constant reminder that I have never been allowed to get married or adopt children is, well, a little depressing and annoying sometimes. Why does it have to be in my face all the time, even at work? Can anyone other than a queer really understand what it's like to be told you can never marry someone you love? Perhaps the real problem is the general lack of empathy in our society. Hmm...

I often wonder how my life would be different today if I had come out to my parents in my early twenties. Would my relationship with my parents have been different? Would I have gotten some much-needed advice on life? In any case, I have a good relationship with my family, and my life today is quite nice. I would be a moron to complain about it. If I were twenty years old today, however, I would definitely do a few things a bit differently...but everyone over 40 says that. :-)

Steve tempted Adam with the Apple...

So there was a story over the weekend about Apple, Inc. donating $100,000 to the campaign to oppose Proposition 8 in California. Proposition 8 is a proposed amendment to the California state constitution that would define marriage as being a legal partnership between a man and a woman. At first I was a happy about Apple's financial support to oppose the proposition, but then I started thinking...this is never a good thing, by the way.

First of all, I definitely support a same-sex couple's right to a legally recognized relationship. In English, we call this marriage. Using the correct word is important to me, so I'm confused when I read that a "civil union" is the same thing as a "marriage." It makes me wonder if anyone would like to trade in their marriage certificates for a "civil union" certificate. No? I didn't think so. I have more to say about gay marriage, but I'll save it for another time.

Now what about Apple's financial contribution? This seems like a good thing. However, the article that appears in the Associated Press lists corporate contributions both for and against. For me, the question is: what would the purpose of this contribution be? Corporate entities exist to return profit to their shareholders. So why get involved in social activism? What possible gain is there for a corporation in either supporting or opposing gay marriage?

I'm not suggesting that I have the answers to those questions, but what I am saying is that I oppose corporate dollars being used to influence public opinion on political and social issues. I oppose it on principal because corporations spend millions of dollars trying to influence politicians through PAC money. There are few individuals with wealth equal to that of an Apple corporation.

What I'm saying is that I'm disappointed that Apple would try to buy my loyalty by opposing Proposition 8 in California. If Steve Jobs as an individual were to make a contribution, I would be impressed, but I think Apple should stick to making iPods and computers. In addition I think people living outside the state of California should focus on what's happening in their own state. Overturning the DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act) laws would be a good start.

You might think this is a naive or quaint perspective on the political process in America these days. Maybe I am naive, but I think real change in my country needs to come from its citizens. We have a voice. We are the electorate. We have even blogs now! If we can't make our case for gay marriage, if we cannot show how cruel and ugly Proposition 8 is, then we have failed to communicate.