If one person steps out of line, then we'll punish everyone!

Just a few weeks after Catholic Charities in Washington, DC decided to punish all employees by no longer offering spousal health benefits, a move prompted by DC's adoption of same-sex marriage, now a school district in Mississippi has decided to cancel the prom because a lesbian student wanted to bring her girlfriend.
This story saddens me. What is the message here? The message from the superintendent of the school district is clear: the prom has been canceled and 'ruined for everyone' because the superintendent doesn't approve of a 'lesbian lifestyle.' The superintendent's message of intolerance is shocking and disturbing.
In the current political environment where school curriculum is being scrutinized more closely by the media (thanks NCLB!), shouldn't we also focus our attention on the actions of the administrators? The superintendent in this case should be fired and barred from school administration. I'm outraged by this story not only because the victim is a lesbian but also because the school administrators are displaying an unbelievable degree of intolerance. The question everyone should ask is: who will the next target be?

Like cutting off your nose to spite your face

Having grown up Catholic it was difficult for me to accept my homosexuality. I am sure there are many Catholics who will say that the Catholic church is all about love and acceptance. I don't bother arguing with these people because believers get downright irritable when confronted with the truth. My experience with the Catholic church was unpleasant. I got over it, I moved on, but I will never forget the pain the organization inflicted on my psyche as a young adult. In yet another action designed to alienate Catholic practice from Catholic marketing hype, the church this week decided to eliminate all spousal benefits for the employees of Catholic Charities in Washington DC. Why? So that they wouldn't have to extend those benefits to employees in same-sex marriages. The Washington Post is just one of the media outlets covering the story.
When I first overheard part of this story on the radio, I just assumed it was being misreported and that Catholic Charities was just revoking spousal benefits for same-sex coupled employees. But no, instead they have decided to cut off their collective apostolic noses to spite their ultra-conservative faces. As the former executive director of the organization points out, Catholic Charities is going to have a difficult time recruiting and retaining any employees without offering spousal benefits. All I can say is: good luck with that!

Sarah Palin: Amerian Hero?

I have been at odds with my friends for some time about Sarah Palin, former Vice-Presidential candidate and now former governor of Alaska. While all of my friends (no exceptions here) were disgusted by Palin's populism, I found her public image fascinating. This is not to say that I agreed with anything she said, but she had charisma and style that has been unmatched in a national politician since the days of Ronald Reagan. She could tell you that you are a loser to your face with a huge smile and a wink and you would thank her for it. I defended her to my friends because I thought she was a much needed change to our political landscape. For better or for worse.
Her resignation last year left me with one word for her: loser. Ok, two words actually: loser and quitter. And yet...despite the fact that she is the worst role model ever for personal responsibility, American conservatives still adore Sarah Palin. They love her so very much that Fox News offered her a gig on their network to comment on current political events. Think about that: a governor who resigned half-way through her term because she had 'done everything she had set out to do' was hired by a major media outlet as a political commentator, as if she had something meaningful to say.
Despite being a quitter and a sore loser, she has continued to fascinate the American public. I think the continued attention she receives says as much about her media savviness as it does about America's apparent lack of critical thinking skills. Too harsh? Maybe, but Sarah Palin should be nobody's hero.

Apparently only some of us deserve to be parents in Arkansas

This past Tuesday on election day the voters of the state of Arkansas passed an amendment to their state constitution that bars unmarried individuals from adopting children. I'm not sure why orphaned children should be punished this way, but it will be interesting to see how this law is enforced. It will be even more interesting to see how it stands up to legal scrutiny.
Supporters of the amendment were most concerned with the issue of gay parenting. To prevent it, they decided that the path of least resistance would be to bar the unmarried from adopting children in need of a family. While it might be easy to defend this amendment, it raises lots of questions...
Does Arkansas also intend to bar bisexuals from adopting children? What if a woman gets married to a man, has children, then discovers that she wants to be with a woman? Are she and her new partner considered to be unsuitable as adoptive parents just because the state doesn't allow gay marriage?
This law might appease some people for a while, but if these same people showed any curiosity in the human condition in general, and human sexuality specifically, then this amendment would seem completely ridiculous. And who suffers from this ridiculous act? Children, the very individuals the supporters of this amendment claim to be protecting.

Care 4 Breast Cancer 5K

Last Sunday, 10/26/2008, was the Care 4 Breast Cancer 5K run/walk in Lippold Park in Crystal Lake, IL. The group photo on the left shows two of my coworker (Brian on the left and Eddie on the right) and me (in the middle) cooling down after the race. Brian's wife Cassie took this picture of us. Eddie is an amazing runner. He races almost every weekend. I'm more of the casual runner, but this was my 10th race this season.
This particular race was a fundraiser for the Family Health Partnership Clinic. It's a great cause, and I'm very proud to say that I raised $570. Yes, I know, I have very generous and thoughtful friends. They are awesome! I'm also proud to learn that my own doctor, Dr. James Mowery, is an internal medicine provider at the clinic.
Everyone had a great time at this race. There were over 800 participants this year. The organizers raised over $78,000 this year. I can hardly wait to run this one again next year.

Why I would like to be the marrying kind

It's that time of year again. My company has an open enrollment period for health insurance and other financial benefits. I am once again reminded that my domestic partner is not my spouse, and that my state does not allow for domestic partner registry or for same-sex partners to marry. My company does, however, offer the same benefits to my partner as they would if he were my spouse. However, my marital status is a difference with a definite distinction.

I must admit, I'm still baffled by the opposition to gay marriage. It seems like it's OK for a celebrity or anyone one else to get married in Las Vegas on a Saturday and get an annulment the next weekend. I don't see protesters on TV sniping about the divorce rate every day. Ask yourself how many people you know who have been married more than once. Or twice. Unfortunately, the institution of marriage doesn't seem very sacred in America at all. My parents took their wedding vows very seriously. I think all of my married friends do as well. I would to, if it were allowed, but I don't have that option.

Part of the problem I have is that I don't understand the opposition very well. America is almost ready to elect Barack Obama, an African-American, as President. If our nation is ready for that, I simply do not understand why we're not ready to let queers get married. I'm dumbfounded. Someone even let Britney Spears get married. WTH!?

On a more serious note: the constant reminder that I have never been allowed to get married or adopt children is, well, a little depressing and annoying sometimes. Why does it have to be in my face all the time, even at work? Can anyone other than a queer really understand what it's like to be told you can never marry someone you love? Perhaps the real problem is the general lack of empathy in our society. Hmm...

I often wonder how my life would be different today if I had come out to my parents in my early twenties. Would my relationship with my parents have been different? Would I have gotten some much-needed advice on life? In any case, I have a good relationship with my family, and my life today is quite nice. I would be a moron to complain about it. If I were twenty years old today, however, I would definitely do a few things a bit differently...but everyone over 40 says that. :-)

Steve tempted Adam with the Apple...

So there was a story over the weekend about Apple, Inc. donating $100,000 to the campaign to oppose Proposition 8 in California. Proposition 8 is a proposed amendment to the California state constitution that would define marriage as being a legal partnership between a man and a woman. At first I was a happy about Apple's financial support to oppose the proposition, but then I started thinking...this is never a good thing, by the way.

First of all, I definitely support a same-sex couple's right to a legally recognized relationship. In English, we call this marriage. Using the correct word is important to me, so I'm confused when I read that a "civil union" is the same thing as a "marriage." It makes me wonder if anyone would like to trade in their marriage certificates for a "civil union" certificate. No? I didn't think so. I have more to say about gay marriage, but I'll save it for another time.

Now what about Apple's financial contribution? This seems like a good thing. However, the article that appears in the Associated Press lists corporate contributions both for and against. For me, the question is: what would the purpose of this contribution be? Corporate entities exist to return profit to their shareholders. So why get involved in social activism? What possible gain is there for a corporation in either supporting or opposing gay marriage?

I'm not suggesting that I have the answers to those questions, but what I am saying is that I oppose corporate dollars being used to influence public opinion on political and social issues. I oppose it on principal because corporations spend millions of dollars trying to influence politicians through PAC money. There are few individuals with wealth equal to that of an Apple corporation.

What I'm saying is that I'm disappointed that Apple would try to buy my loyalty by opposing Proposition 8 in California. If Steve Jobs as an individual were to make a contribution, I would be impressed, but I think Apple should stick to making iPods and computers. In addition I think people living outside the state of California should focus on what's happening in their own state. Overturning the DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act) laws would be a good start.

You might think this is a naive or quaint perspective on the political process in America these days. Maybe I am naive, but I think real change in my country needs to come from its citizens. We have a voice. We are the electorate. We have even blogs now! If we can't make our case for gay marriage, if we cannot show how cruel and ugly Proposition 8 is, then we have failed to communicate.